I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
50% drunk capacity currently
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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