butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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