erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
