The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
