Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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