it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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