oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am midnight drunk by noon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
