you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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