Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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