Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
