I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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