Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
