I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
