you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
