the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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