Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize