Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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