I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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