are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize