apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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