I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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