You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I met the friendliest cop last night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
