Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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