Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
