Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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