just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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