things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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