did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
