1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize