i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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