all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
