he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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