She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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