i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
