The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think your dad took our porno
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
