sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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