My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
