we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Farmville is her only friend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
