1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
