It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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