YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
