i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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