HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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