she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
