So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've blown a few things in my day
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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