so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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