I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
