you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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