Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
