Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
