Well douche your snatch and let's go!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
