first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
