just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
