My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's blow job season.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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