your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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