Are we in a gay sports bar?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
