I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
