she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize