Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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