I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
