Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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