I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think people are normalizing furries
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
