...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
