We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
