Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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