I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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