My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
